First Reflections

Initial thoughts before writing: Getting all the fluff out of my brain...

It's 8:43pm... 9:09pm... It's 9:16pm on a school night and I'm still typing... I like it.

If you find the beginning of my writing a little bland or uninteresting, I apologise. I have subconsciously adopted William Forrester's* advice for writing to the degree that I struggle to create interesting openings straight away. Much like it takes a little while for your body to adjust to the shockingly hot temperatures of an onsen* (if you've never been to one, I would highly recommend - super liberating), my writing can take a little time to warm up.

While my other blogs and articles will be been about writing itself, the nature of writing, thoughts on writing, editing, teaching, life experience etc. this type of blog will be a short showcase of the fiction and/or non-fiction writing I have been working on that I thought I might share.

After writing that first little bit, a thought suddenly popped into my head: this might actually be a good space to share what other hobbies and things I have been enjoying as well. For example, I'm currently knitting squares for a blanket for my 24 week old baby (24 weeks in the womb, not out of it, yet).

Knitting has always been wonderfully therapeutic for me, especially when I was in my HSC year of high school - which is more than 10 years ago now - gosh I feel old! I still love it, though to date I have only ever completed one knitting project - which was a red scarf for my dad (that may or may not have fallen apart because I hadn't learned how to add new balls of wool to the piece properly at the time).

In addition to knitting, I have recently been fascinated by sewing and embroidery. Current project: a cute little embroidery design I found on Etsy; also for new baby, though I'm not too sure what I can attach it to later, it has been fun to create tangible things with my hands when I've had the time.

Another old sewing project saw me cutting out dozens of little triangle shapes of Winnie the Pooh print fabric to make a quilt... It is still sitting in pieces in a bag.

Needless to say, historically I have been quite good at starting little hobby projects... not so great at actually finishing them, even though the feeling of satisfaction at having created and completed something is fantastic. I suppose I'm still able to get that feeling from cooking, so I'm not too hard on myself about that these days - especially with a little one on the way and my body working ten times harder than normal just to do anything really.

According to my counsellor - who is amazing by the way - becoming pregnant and the prospect of being a mum has chilled me right out. I suppose in some ways it has, though the motivation for that is not wanting to stress out the little munchkin growing in my belly. Actual motherhood is something I'm more excited about than apprehensive of. Though I have plenty of reasons to be anxious about it, I haven't been. This will probably sound unbearably naive to anyone who has actually given birth but I'm even looking forward to labour and birth. I know it will likely be horrifically painful and my brain and body will be doing all sorts of crazy things then, I don't quite know how to explain it, I'm just looking forward to it.

Reflecting on being a mum and a wife also made me remember what it was like when I was neither of those things. I remember finding it somewhat frustrating and disheartening trying to find things written by women in that stage of life in-between; not a teenager but also not a married 30-something with kids. I wanted to be able to relate to someone who could speak to my experience without the you'll understand when [insert something about being in a different life-stage here].

I'm not yet in my thirties. And I don't yet have a bunch of kids running around my ankles (just the first one on the way). I am married (and I love it). But I also remember what it felt like before all of those things happened. And I remember the thoughts and warring voices in my head at the time. So I'd like to still speak into that space every now and then if I can - to be an encouragement to some young woman who just wants to feel seen and heard for where she is at right now, not where she may be in the future.

I have well and truly digressed (though it was an important digression I think - I really wanted to get that last point out there). So, back on the topic of hobbies...

I have always loved art. Actually, even thinking about how much I used to enjoy painting and drawing (and I was once pretty decent at it) makes me want to paint and draw again (and perhaps share what I make here). Though I now face an infuriating case of if-you-don't-use-it-you-lose-it where I have to contend with the frustration of an art-related skill-issue. I know in my head that I have been able to paint and draw beautiful and detailed things, but translating that to paper or canvas recently has been trying at best. But! I am determined to defeat this skill-issue in classic Dark Souls* fashion and keep at it to one day paint something I am really proud of.

Reflections - on Reading and the Reader:

My husband and I recently chatted about the value of reading. About how there's something quite unique and special and intentional about the relationship between an author and a reader when that reader is holding the physical book created by that author. It's an incredible thing which, to unashamedly use an Interstellar reference, transcends time and space.

I think something that is so special and so intimate needs to be protected, particularly now. I don't know if you've ever encountered that small uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach at the thought of AI becoming the default for pretty much everything - answers to

google searches, content writing, visual designs - even in areas I know little to nothing about - economics, unsolvable maths equations, scientific inquiry. That's not to say I'm completely against AI; it has its uses, and it can be a helpful tool, but I am genuinely concerned about the ethics surrounding it. I find the idea of destructive scanning simply horrifying, and although I don't know the true ins-and-outs about this new technology, I want to create something real and true and human.

I want to write in such a way that inspires creativity, a sense of nostalgia and longing for beautiful language that speaks life and truth. It's quite ambitious, I know. And I know that I'm not so great a writer as to actually achieve that - in fact I'm an unpublished novice. But I want to contribute something. Something my children can read and either love or hate. Something real and true and human. Something like an oil painting that has been staring into the eyes of passers-by year upon year, showing a little more character with every crack and wear and tear.

I think this would be a good point to mention that not a single part of this blog entry has been influenced or written by AI at all. Oh, there's little buttons around everywhere to let it in; to generate content, to ask it to polish up the things you ask it to polish up. But I did not want to use it for this. I wanted this entry to quite simply be a reflection of my thoughts, in my voice, written as if I had a typewriter (which I fully intend on purchasing one day).

Authors and readers may never meet, but through their physical, weighty, splendid books they can share a space where connection feels real and true and human.

I want to read books that will fill my head with beautiful old and raw voices that might be talking about grand and wondrous tales of adventure. But also stories about the simplest things, like how much a character is inconvenienced by the weather, or how much they love a very specific cheesecake from a very specific store. I want to meet them and walk alongside them. An invited interloper. Walking through a story thought up in the head of a writer long ago or not so long ago.

Reflections - on Life with my Husband:

This might sound quite ridiculous and terribly sappy, but honestly, while our first year of marriage has been HARD with a capital 'H,' it has also been the most amazing, life-filled, fun, silly, literally life-giving year of our lives. I've often thought, and on occasion said, that the nights since we got married have felt like an extended sleepover. It has certainly had the silliness, energy, incessant chatting and lack of sleep that characterises sleepovers - which is not exactly ideal for two working adults, but we manage. My husband is just so darn interesting to talk to! And I like him a lot.

We just finished watching the most recent episode of Bleach: Thousand Year Blood War (season 4 episode 9 if you're one for specifics). Can I just take a moment to point out how beautifully stunning the animation is in the recent episodes of that show! If I can offer the animators any encouragement for what they likely go through as animators: you are incredible and have produced some of the finest and most gorgeously fluid pieces of cinema I have ever seen. And I don't mean that lightly. Growing up with Friday night movies and chip butties (mouth-watering hot-chip sandwiches) meant regular exposure to films of all kinds of genres and all kinds of eras. My brother has become a particularly harsh critic. But I like to think that I've got some idea of what makes a good movie, and by extension, a good episode of a much-loved series. So, thank you to the creators for making something truly impressive.

Well... it's now 5:12pm... 5:15pm of the next day (I haven't been typing the whole time, just coming back to check and add little things every now and then).

Thank you for reading this far and I hope this has been a cozy introduction to The Book Nook Chook (my husband and I came up with the name as a bit of a joke, but I kind of love it so I'm sticking with it). Be on the look out for all sorts of articles, short stories, poems and blogs in the future - I've taken quite a fancy to writing these and I hope to do a whole lot more of it.

Much love,

Mrs Tea

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*William Forrester - is a reclusive Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist played by Sean Connery in the 2000 film Finding Forrester.

*Onsen - a natural volcanic hot spring and traditional bathing facility in Japan.

*Dark Souls - is a critically acclaimed dark fantasy action role-playing game created by Hidetaka Miyazaki and developed by FromSoftware - for those of us who may not be familiar with role-playing video games. [side-note] For those of you who DO know this game and have played it at length (or have husbands / brothers / fathers who have played it at length) I have three words: Anor Londo Archers...